


none of the right ways.

by cranks (orphan_account)



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Angst-ish?, Bi!Jeremy, Gay, M/M, One Sided Love, Unrequited Love, boyf riends — Freeform, gay!michael, haha but not, jeremys an emo little fuck, meremy, michaels a dumbass, tags who, tired writing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-23
Updated: 2017-09-23
Packaged: 2019-01-04 15:01:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12171222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/cranks
Summary: jeremy would give it all up for him. every fibre of his being.in which jeremy doesn't love michael in any of the right ways.





	none of the right ways.

**Author's Note:**

> ghgghghghgh i decided to continue my very first fic posted way way back in july. 
> 
> im tired and acutely aware that there are probably many spelling errors and grammatical mistakes present in the following work. please prep yourselves.

“I love you,” Jeremy says simply, and that’s that. Michael doesn’t need to know it’s a lie. Michael doesn’t need to know how horribly twisted and cruel Jeremy feels whenever he utters those words. Michael doesn’t need to know how much sleep Jeremy has lost, how many hours of sleep he’s cost him. All Michael needs to know is that Jeremy loves him. And maybe, somehow, Jeremy can convince himself of that too.

 

“I love you,” Michael says sincerely, and Jeremy’s chest begins to ache. He smiles and nods and takes Michael’s hand in his and presses a peck to Michael’s cheek. “I know,” he teases, and they both burst into giggles, soft and stifled against the curtain of snow falling around them. The cold air has sucked out the life from the rest of the scene, lit by a lone lamp post, but Jeremy and Michael are bundled tight enough and close enough that all they really need are each other.

 

“I love you,” Jeremy breathes out as Michael kisses him senseless, and the lie scrapes his throat as it escapes his lips. He can feel Michael smiling against his collarbone, sucking another dark mark into the pale skin. Thighs press against his hips, a steady weight bracing over him that reassured him that maybe everything will be alright anyways.

 

“I love you,” Michael croons, a wide grin spread across his face as he pokes his finger into Jeremy’s ribs, and Jeremy forces a giggle and bats at his hand and forgets about the web of lies he’s entangled himself in. He laughs and laughs and balls up the dark thing inside of him squirming to escape, to tip him over and spill out everything in front of Michael. He laughs and laughs and soon he’s crying and Michael is kissing his cheeks and mumbling that everything is going to be okay, but it isn’t. 

 

“I love you,” Jeremy sobs, late at night, and tries to quiet the voices screaming in his head. He downs another bottle of outdated carbonated soda and tries not to think about Michael.

 

“I love you,” Jeremy says, and tries to convince himself that it’s true. That he isn’t living a lie, and forcing Michael to play along with it. That he  _ is _ in love with this beautiful boy in front of him, his very best friend who he would sacrifice every fibre of his being for.

 

“I love you,” Jeremy insists, and pulls Michael in for another kiss. 

 

“I love you,” Jeremy moans, late at night and wrapped in Michael’s arms.

 

“I love you.” 

 

He loses himself in the lie. The lines blur and bend, reshaping into something indistinguishable from the original picture. Jeremy loves Michael. Michael loves Jeremy. It was something meant to be. 

 

And if Jeremy is found crying at night, alone in his room, wrapped in layers of blankets and coddled in pillows, it’s really nobody’s fault but his own. He did this to himself. There is no computer to blame, no sheets of paper to testify as evidence against him. He has Michael believing a lie, and he can’t stop. He can’t let him down. 

 

“I love you,” Jeremy whispers to Michael, and this time he can almost find himself believing it. 

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on tumblr!  
> > bitch-goranski.tumblr.com
> 
> jsjsjsjs i havent written anything in Eons and tbh the only reason i wrote even all these 500 words is bc of my sickass friends in the bmc authors discord shoutout to them even though i very much hope they dont read this


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